The Power of…er…Negative??? Thinking
(And to think I learned it from my chickens!)
“It’s the management, Stupid.” (Harvey Ussery)
“It’s not the stupid chickens’ fault.” (Joel Salatin)
“Whatever happens, it’s YOUR fault.” (Conrad Jarrell)
We’re all familiar with The Power of Positive Thinking, popularized by Norman Vincent Peale. And I admit that there is a lot to be said for having a positive attitude.
Years ago a couple of my boys were going through homeopathic treatments for food sensitivities, and my sweet little (sometimes overly) optimistic one said determinedly, “You know, Mom, I think I’m getting better.” Sure enough, by the next appointment, he was completely over his sensitivities.
My darling little pessimist said morosely, “I don’t think it’s doing any good,” and while he eventually healed, it took MONTHS longer. The doctor said he’d seen that attitude / healing connection play out many times. “A merry heart doeth good like a medicine, but a broken spirit drieth the bones.”
And yet, and yet, and yet…
Some of the most effective things I’ve learned in my life have come from a negative place. While I can enjoy a good “ooh-rah-rah” session as much as the next gal, the things I’ve found to be most useful long-term have been the kicks in the pants, the tough lessons, the painful rebukes.
Several years ago, a pastor friend of ours died. After the funeral, his widow asked that his fellow pastors spend a few minutes sharing the influence he had had in their lives. One pastor said, “The day of my ordination, Conrad handed me a note. The note said, ‘Whatever happens, it’s YOUR fault.’ I keep that note in my pocket to this day.”
I have to admit: when I first heard that story, I didn’t get it. I actually thought it was a little harsh, and definitely a little unrealistic. No pastor - or boss, or mom, or chicken lady, for that matter! - is responsible for the actions of every person (or chicken, or fox/weasel) in their area of responsibility!
And yet, over time, I have come to understand it, and to understand it heart-deep.
Joel Salatin, the man I consider my mentor in “chickening,” lives by the same principle. A few years ago I lost 17 chicks in one week. It was early in my chicken journey, so that was a HUGE loss. Every time I went out to the brooder, another chicken or two was dead. I began to despair…and to blame “the stupid chickens.” WHY did “the stupid chickens” keep piling up and smothering each other?
Suddenly, Joel spoke to me. 😂 (No, not really!) But I could hear him “in my mind’s eye” saying in his inimitable way, “It’s not the stupid chickens’ fault.”
In other words, “It’s the management, Stupid.”
Or "Whatever happens, it’s YOUR fault.”
And just like that, a switch flipped. I’m not exaggerating when I say that moment changed my life. I realized that one person and one person only could fix this: Me.
I had taken on the responsibility of raising these birds. They were now completely dependent on me. And it was up to ME to help them.
I cannot express the feeling of empowerment that realization gave me. In that instant I changed from a Victim-With-A-Capital-V to a Taker-of-Action.
To finish the story, I considered WHY the chicks were piling and smothering, and I realized I was to blame. I had taught them to panic. We had visitors that week, and the cute little children adored those cute little chicks, so instead of protecting the chicks as I ought, I allowed the kids to pick them up, cuddle them, etc. There was extra noise, extra disturbance. Before long, every time one of us came around, the chicks reacted by piling on top of each other in panic, and when they separated, there would be one or two dead on the bottom of the pile. This is not normal…but I had allowed it to develop. So what could I do?
One thing I knew: while 50 chicks piling on top of each other would inevitably smother the ones underneath, 15 chicks would not. So I put dividers in the brooder, separating the chicks into groups of about 15. Necessary under normal conditions? Absolutely not. But desperate times call for desperate measures. I put in cardboard dividers, gave each tiny group their own feeder / waterer, and the death count stopped…well…dead.
Because it was the management, Stupid.
I love that saying. It sounds SO rude, and it just kicks me in the butt every time. “Jen, get your tail out there and DO something, instead of whining and whimpering, huddled in a corner!”
Even last year when we lost 50 chicks in one week due to poor shipping conditions, (you can read all about that HERE) I evaluated the situation and realized several things I could do to mitigate the loss. It would be so easy to say, “It wasn’t my fault.” And, of course, it WASN’T my fault that the postal service let those chicks sit on a dock somewhere, and I don’t need to take the blame for it. But it’s not about assigning blame, anyway.
It’s about accepting responsibility and taking action where I can.
Another “helpful negative” I’ve learned from Joel is to ask myself, “What’s wrong?” when I go look at the chickens. Instead of assuming everything is probably okay, I look around and ask myself what’s wrong. Believe me…you get a lot more information that way! You suddenly notice the leaking waterer, the chicken sitting off by itself in the corner (uh-oh…she’s been sitting alone for two days!), the weird smell, and the hole in the fencing.
A book my husband and I enjoyed a couple years back was called Extreme Ownership, and it plays into this perfectly. When you take Extreme Ownership of a situation, it gives you a different perspective.
It’s the difference between sitting back and just “letting stuff happen” and you taking charge of it.
It’s not you overstepping your bounds; it isn’t even micromanaging. If you think about it, we feel a lot more respect for the boss who takes responsibility even for the bad decisions of an employee than we do when that same boss points fingers. There’s something inherently ugly in finger-pointing, even if it’s justified.
I don’t care if you’re a button-pusher on the assembly line at the factory. You keep your eyes open, and YOU make sure your button is ready to be pushed on time, every time. If “something happens” and your button can’t be pushed on time, YOU figure out why. Are you going too fast / too slow for the person next to you? Is your button gummed up? Does the battery need changed? If the battery goes out every 5 days halfway through the day, can you start changing it before you leave at the end of the 4th day?
THINK!
Make a habit of asking yourself, “How have I caused this, and how can I fix it?”
Develop the habit of evaluating events and asking, “What worked? What didn’t?”
Do I lose my temper easily? It’s the management, Stupid.
Did I lose a customer? How have I caused this?
Is there constant tension between me and my child? It’s not the stupid chickenld’s fault.
Do people hurt my feelings ALL THE TIME? Whatever happens, it’s YOUR fault.
Look, I referred to this already. Obviously, we can’t control everything. But that’s sort of the point. I can NOT control the chickens’ nature, my grown children’s behaviour, or the President’s decisions! I just can’t. So rather than focusing so much on what “they” are doing wrong, which is perfectly useless since I can’t change it anyway, I choose to focus on what I CAN change, which is usually a lot more than I want to admit.
Because if someone else is to blame, well, I just got off easy. I can sit down with my Doritos and my iPhone and binge on YouTube, puffing up in righteous indignation over what THEY are doing. And, yeah, what “they” are doing is probably terrible. It usually is.😁
But. Then. Nothing. Will. Ever. Change.
The moment I take Extreme Ownership, EVERYTHING changes. Changes for me, anyway. I begin to swiftly make my way through problems, evaluating and sorting: Let’s see…I can’t change the postal service, so that’s out. Can I go pick up the chicks in person? Can I make sure I’m not ordering over a weekend or a holiday? Can I make sure EVERYTHING is ready for the chicks the moment they arrive and I’m on hand to spot issues right away?
I challenge you to evaluate the difficulties in your life from this perspective. As I write, I can think of an issue I’m facing with one of my kids right now (no, nothing serious). I know the fix: I know what I need to do, but it will require me to stand firm and be Unpopular Mom right now. Guess what? I don’t LIKE being Unpopular Mom! But I have two choices: I can continue to be annoyed by the situation, or I can accept that I’ve allowed this to develop, and now it’s time to get off my duff and “undevelop” it!