A Day in the Life of a Chicken

First, close your eyes.  (Yes, as you read this – Ha!) I want you to envision a chicken…a chicken in a concentrated animal feeding operation: a CAFO. You know, where your grocery store chicken comes from.

Lights on – time to wake up!  She blinks and looks around, stands up and stretches forward, left wing out, le-e-e-e-ft foot back. The noise, the haze, life inside a building:  this is not particularly terrible to her, honestly, because it’s all she’s ever known.  The owners here are doing their best; there’s a state-of-the-art ventilation system, so things are pretty good, as these places go.

Head to the water, start with a drink.  Head to the feed trough, it’s time to eat: the highlight of the day.  Good!  The trough is full!  She’s got to eat mash, because her beak was clipped when she was a chick so she won’t peck the other chickens.  She’d like to peck them, because she’s stressed and bored. But she can’t, so she eats.  What else is there?  It’s getting hard to walk, because she’s gaining weight so fast, so she just plops herself down at the trough for the day.

Time for a reset. 

Let’s wander over to, say, The Collins Cluckery, to see what’s going on over there. 

We pick out a chicken and decide to watch her for the day.  She wakes up, not because the lights come on, but because dawn has come.  She blinks and looks around, stands up and stretches forward, left wing out, le-e-e-ft foot back.  She heads over for a long drink of water…and sees The Lady. 

HERE COMES THE LADY!

All of a sudden, everyone is jumping, running, squawking…here comes The Lady!  “It’s time to move!  Oh, boy.  Run to the back of the shelter to watch her put the dolly in place…Maybe I can dash out while the back end of the shelter is lifted?  Oh, no, The Lady was too fast.  Race back to the front; it’s time to move!  Quick!  Is that plantain?  And fresh grass…snap a yummy inch off of that.  What’s that at the edge…clover?

Oh, ouch…oof…SQUAAAWWWKKK!  SQQQUUUAAAAAKKKK!!!

Ah.  That’s better.  I wasn’t paying attention and got myself caught under the edge of the shelter, but I’m okay, because The Lady heard me call for help.  Mm-mmm, that clover sure was tasty.  And The Lady is filling the feed trough.  I want some more of that cracked corn and maybe a bit of the barley…and kelp.  I like the big bits best. Wipe my beak on the ground to clean it and sharpen it…swipe, swipe, swipe, swipe.  Another drink, and it’s time for a rest…

Well, it’s been a few hours.  The grass is getting pretty trampled, messy even, but The Lady won’t keep us here long. She doesn’t want it stinky any more than I do!  Besides, it’s the heat of the day, and I don’t really want to run around anyway.   It’s HOT…time for a drink.  And here comes The Lady AGAIN!  And, oh boy, what’s she got this time?  A bunch of overgrown kale from the garden!  Oh, that’s good.  But wait…my brother got more than me!  I want that piece!  Hey, I’m not so tired after all.  I can chase this guy all day…GOT IT!  It’s MINE!  I GOT THE BIGGEST PIECE!  But now everyone else wants it and is chasing ME…and…it’s gone.

Oh, well.  I’ll take a dust bath, instead.

Scritch, scratch.  Here’s a nice, loose spot of soil.  Scritch, scratch.  Ooh.  W-r-i-g-g-l-e down into that dust…this is GREAT!  If I get enough dust under my feathers, it’ll kill any little mites that might be crawling around.  Plus, when I sprawl out like this, I look dead, and it really makes The Lady do a double take when she comes out to check on us.  It’s funny, but after a couple seconds I raise my head and blink at her, so she knows I’m not dead…just “playing possum,” so to speak.

Speaking of possums, we had a scare last night!  Some animal came sniffing around.  He tried to poke a paw through to grab me, but the netting is pretty tight, so he didn’t get far.  I could see he thought about digging under, but he was nervous.  I heard The Lady say that predators don’t usually attack if they don’t know what’s going on.  The predator slunk away muttering, “The birds were over there yesterday; they’re over here today…their house walks.  There’s some weird stuff goin’ on at this joint.  I’m movin’ on.”  Something like that.  I didn’t catch it all, but all I know is I wasn’t that dude’s dinner!

YAWWWWNNN…the sun is starting to sink, and I’m getting sleepy.  A little more food, a BIG drink of water…time to cuddle down with my friends.  It’s a hot night, so I won’t snuggle in TOO close, but as the temps fall, we’ll all scootch in together to stay cozy.  And tomorrow morning The Lady will come…and maybe I’ll get to chase a grasshopper!  Or maybe I’ll get a fat worm…or maybe…g’night.”